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You shouldn’t Date Guys with Possibilities

When I 1st began dating after my divorce case, we came across “John” on an internet dating website. We had a fantastic first cellphone conversation, finding we shared many common interests and a comparable outlook on life.

He create our first big date for two weeks away. I really couldn’t wait!

I obtained a negative feeling within my gut when John didn’t reply to my personal email (advertised to own never received it) and failed to phone when he stated he’d (another reason). I became worried he may forget the date.

We emailed at the beginning of the week to see if we had been however on. John mentioned he couldn’t enable it to be, as he was actually out of town. He then apologized which he had been today as well active with work and mightn’t target matchmaking any individual.

I became frustrated. I felt duped. I had eventually satisfied men which appeared to have so much prospective. Over the then couple of months, we often considered calling him. Have always been I glad I Did Not!

A pal called with an up-date on John, “Sandy, you dodged a bullet. John got hitched (five months after our very own basic telephone call – also active in the office without for you personally to time any person?). He even offers a serious drug problem.”

Wow! Which could describe his failure to keep obligations.

“great relationships are built

on fictional character – maybe not dream.”

Pay attention to the negatives.

I had fantasized that this guy ended up being a great capture. If the guy merely had gotten their company working, he’d end up being mentally readily available for a relationship.

If he only lived better, we’d end up being matchmaking. If we surely got to understand each other, we’d seriously fall in really love. If, if, if…

You will find since become a female of high self-worth. You will find taken off the rose-colored cups. We absorb the drawbacks whenever they show up. I mightn’t offer a guy like John one minute look because We much longer date potential.

The very next time you begin to imagine “if merely” about a guy, reconsider that thought. Pay careful attention for the indicators he teaches you early. If you get a bad experience, respect it.

Good connections are made on personality, kindness and accountability – not fantasy and projection.

I found myself fortunate to dodge this bullet. I can just envision what would have taken place easily had dated John and developed authentic (not dreamed) thoughts for him. I might have-been heading for a relationship tragedy and most likely a broken center.

Ever dated potential? Please share the tales with me.

Pic supply: zodiakrights.com.

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